


Maybe we'll find a brand new ending

by LukeCastellan



Series: Tumblr Prompts [1]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Drunk Simon (mostly sleepy Simon), Fake/Pretend Relationship, First Meetings, Friends With Benefits, Human Raphael, Human Simon, M/M, Pandemonium Club (Shadowhunter Chronicles), Rated E for later chapters, Smut, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-03
Updated: 2017-07-24
Packaged: 2018-10-14 11:47:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 19,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10535835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LukeCastellan/pseuds/LukeCastellan
Summary: His headache worsen. What was he supposed to do? How was he supposed to explain Guadalupe that he has found his little brother in a club, waddling like an horny guy in some stranger’s arms? What if he hadn’t separated them, would they have hooked up? Disgusted by this thought, he tried focusing on something else.“Avergüenzo de ti, Iván” He said in a cold tone.He turned toward the boy and looked at him with all the hatred he felt at this perfect moment. However, his eyes widened when he really looked at ‘Iván’. The boy did have the same clothes as his brother, but he had the face of a young adult, different glasses (round ones), a scar on his forehead and he was frowning in disbelief.





	1. What the fuck are you doing here?

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic ever in English! It's not my native language so I apologize for any grammatical mistake. I will try to post every Monday, I already have written the whole story but I need time to translate it into English. I hope you will enjoy it.  
> The title is taken from the music 'Lost Stars' by Keira Knightley. This fanfiction is based on [the promt](http://dailyau.tumblr.com/) ‘I found you dirty dancing at a club and dragged you out because I thought you were my younger sibling, but turns out you just really look alike. You’re mad and I’m confused.’ AU. I changed the prompt a little bit.  
> It was supposed to be an OS but I was really inspired.  
> Enjoy ~
> 
> 25/04/2018: I tried to correct as many mistakes as I could.
> 
> Note: I don't have a beta-reader, so I'm sure there still are many mistakes and I'm sorry. However, English isn't my mother tongue, so I'll use this argument to apologize for the errors I made!

After many pleadings from his best friend, Raphael agreed to go to the Pandemonium once again. It was a club run by Magnus.  
However, Raphael was one of those persons who prefer reading a good book than dancing in a crowd - he didn't like this idea of partying all night. Moreover, he never knew anybody there and was always forced to spend his night with Magnus and his - new - distraction: Alec Lightwood, which meant watching a couple making out for hours.

Raphael had opted for a blue jean slim, a white t-shirt and a black leather jacket. He didn’t feel comfortable in this outfit, but Magnus had threatened him to choose his clothes if he decided to wear one of his many suits for the party. Nevertheless, he had been lucky enough to skip the makeup part Magnus wanted to do, thanks to an Alec who arrived sooner than expected, so he shouldn’t be complaining.

* * *

The party had just begun and Raphael was already dreaming to leave. He had been sitting for ten minutes in the VIP area, after being abandoned by his “friend” who preferred dancing in a close embrace with his prey of the month than keeping him company. Raphael who didn’t wish to watch Magnus waddling like that, scanned the room while drinking the rest of Magnus’ cocktail. He was feeling out of place. The music - if it could be considered as such a thing - was too loud and giving him a headache. He sighed before standing up, ready to announce Magnus that he was leaving. However, when he went through the crowd, his eyes landed on a boy, a little bit taller than him. He was moving his body to the rhythm of the music, in a really suggestive way, and his silhouette made Raphael stopped dead in his track. He had seen him not later than this morning, leaving in his jeans and a red t-shirt to his friend’s house.  
Once he was over the shock of seeing him here, he decided to approach him to be sure that he hadn’t mistaken the color red for another one - hard task because of the spotlights. With his eyes half-shut, he tried to have a better look at the boy’s face. He had curly brown hair which was glued to his forehead because of his sweat and was wearing glasses on the tip of his nose. Raphael knew who he was despite the fact that he was barely seeing anything because of the lightning. He was thinking about his next move when a blonde-haired guy approached the boy from behind and put his hands on his waist. Raphael saw red. The way the guy hugged him, how he hid his face in the crook of his neck, made him nauseous.  
What pushed Raphael to react was the way the blond guy started moving his hips against the other. He already felt like killing somebody, but the moment he saw the brown-haired guy tilting his head back and placing his hands on the other’s, was enough to push his buttons. Raphael came up to them with shaky hands. He made his way through the crowd - not giving a shit about hitting somebody in the process - angrily. Once he was at their side, he violently pushed the blond one and grabbed the other by his arm, before leading him out of the club, in the smoking area. The boy took time to react and started struggling.

“¡Idiota! What the fuck are you doing here?” Growled Raphael

He strengthened his grip the guy’s arm and shook his head angrily.

“Mamá’s gonna kill you if she learns where you spend your nights!”

He swore a few words in spanish before passing the door and yelling.

“You’re not even 18! ¡Pedazo de mierda! ¡No me lo puedo creer! Don't you have a little respect for mamá?”

His headache worsen. What was he supposed to do? How was he supposed to explain to Guadalupe that he had found his little brother in a club, waddling like a horny guy in some stranger’s arms? What if he hadn’t separated them, would they have hooked up? Disgusted by this thought, he tried to focus on something else.

“Estoy avergonzado de ti, Iván” He said in a cold tone.

He turned toward the boy and looked at him with all the hatred he felt at this perfect moment. However, his eyes widened when he really looked at ‘Iván’. The boy did have the same clothes as his brother, but he had the face of a young adult, different glasses - round ones -, a scar on his forehead and he was frowning in disbelief.

Raphael’s last words died on the tip of his tongue. He dropped the boy’s arm as if it had burned him and stood there, petrified.

“What's wrong with you man?” Scoffed the boy with raised eyebrows.

Raphael felt himself blush. His gaze landed everywhere except on the boy he had dragged out of the club. He tried to form a sentence, but the only words which left his lips were gibberish.

“I’ve been trying to bring him on the dance floor for twenty minutes,” grumbled the stranger.

Raphael nodded nervously. How could he have thought that his little brother would go to a club? At that time of the night, Iván was probably getting ready to go to bed. What made him feel even worse was the fact that he humiliated himself in front of a total stranger, and had spoiled his night. If Magnus ever found out about this story, he would probably never stop teasing him. He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn’t hear the boy talking to him. He jumped when he felt the stranger's hand on his shoulder and looked at his interlocutor.

“Don’t worry about it”, he said calmly.

Raphael had the feeling that the boy was trying to reassure him.

“It’s just… disturbing” the guy concluded.

Raphael looked at the ground, ashamed.

“If it can make you feel better, we could go inside and have a drink. Is that okay with you?” the boy offered with a shy smile.

Raphael raised his eyebrows. He focused on the innocent eyes of the boy in order to see if he was joking, before nodding nervously. He had absolutely no desire to enter the Pandemonium again, but he felt responsible for ruining the boy’s night. The stranger took his hand, a move which shocked Raphael and lead him in the club. His grasp strengthened when they went through the crowd. He almost fell and lost him twice. Finally, they arrived at the bar and ordered cocktails which Raphael paid despite the boy's protests. When their drinks arrived, the stranger fully turned toward Raphael, indicating him that he had all his interest.

“Simon”, said the brown-haired guy with a sweet smile.

“Raphael”, he responded a little hesitant.

The rest of the evening happened without any major incident, despite a humiliating start for the younger one. They took a few drinks and started telling each other their mutual life like old friends would have. Simon even went to go dancing and tried to bring Raphael with him but his task was an epic fail. After a while, probably really early in the morning, when they couldn’t bear drunk people who randomly joined them and made them feel uncomfortable anymore, they went to the VIP area, thanks to Raphael.

“Why are we here?” he asked dumbfounded.

“The runner of the club, Magnus, is one of my closest friends”, Raphael answered casually.

Simon nodded while whistling before sitting on the sofa, soon joined by Raphael. They spent the next minutes - maybe hours - talking. Raphael had never talked like this with someone he barely met but somehow, he trusted Simon.  
Everything was fine until Simon fell asleep on Raphael’s shoulder. The later didn’t dare to move, scared to wake Simon up. He tried to found Magnus in the crowd without success, before watching what time it was on his watch. It was already 4 am. He needed to come home, so he started shaking Simon gently. The boy only growled and rubbed his eyes while drawing near Raphael, making the latter shiver. He wasn’t used to be this close to someone.

“Simon, I need to go”, he murmured. “You should do the same.”

The boy nodded but stayed still.

“Simon”, Raphael repeated in a caring tone. “Do you have a way to go back to your home?”

As the boy shook his head, Raphael started talking again.

“Do you came with some friends?”

Simon nodded and whispered something about them probably enjoying the party. Raphael sight, he didn’t wish to let him here, all alone with a bunch of drunks.

“Where do you live?”

Simon asked Raphael to take his ID in his pocket. He agreed and he took a deep breath before grabbing his wallet - considering Simon’s sitting position it took a little time. Raphael was shaking, he was rarely this close to a stranger’s pants - even though he probably knew Simon better than most of his friends now. When he found what he was looking for, he heard Simon moans, maybe from discomfort, but it confused Raphael who felt his cheeks turning red. He opened the wallet, looking for a receipt from the locker room, he found none so he looked for the ID and when he found it, he placed the wallet in his own jeans. He then placed his arms around Simon’s shoulders and led him to the locker room.

“Come on Simon, I'm bringing you home.”

He gave his own receipt to the woman in charge of the stock and retrieve his belongings. He gave his jacket to Simon and helped him to put it on so that he doesn't catch a cold. He knelt and asked Simon to jump on his back. The boy didn't think twice before doing what he was told and wrapped his arms around Raphael’s shoulders before hiding his face in the crook of his neck. Raphael straightened up and put his hands on Simon’s thighs before heading to the door. Once outside, he called a taxi and gave him Simon’s address. Simon had his head on Raphael’s knees while the other was currently playing with Simon’s hair. When they arrived, Raphael paid the taxi before waking Simon up while caressing his cheek - he will blame the alcohol for that -. When they left the vehicle, Simon put his weight on Raphael’s arm to walk and lead them to his apartment. They took the lift to the fourth floor. Simon took his key out of his jeans and leaned against the door to open it. He was so tired that he missed the keyhole twice. His hands were shaking, Raphael who, in other conditions would have laughed, put his hands on Simon’s and help him to open the door. When they open it, the taller one carried the other to his bedroom. Simon almost jumped on it but was stopped by Raphael who took off his jacket and helped him to remove his shoes. Then, he led him to the bed and made him lay down. He took the blanket and fold it to Simon’s shoulders. Before Simon fell asleep, Raphael took his glasses and put them on the bedside table. It wasn’t long before Simon fell asleep under the soft gaze of Raphael. He waited a few minutes, before deciding to leave. He hesitated to leave a message for the sleeping boy but he didn’t want to look like a creep, so he left. He closed the door quietly behind him before whispering a ‘¡Mierda!’ when he realized he had left his jacket with his phone on the bed.


	2. Who are you?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Hello?” he asked perplexed.  
> “Raphael! Finally!” the boy exclaimed. “You scared me last night! You could have told me you were leaving I th-.”  
> “Excuse me,” Simon cut him “I thought Raphael was with you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have to warn you, this chapter is shorter than the first one. I hope you'll like it :)
> 
> 25/04/2018: I tried to correct as many mistakes as I could.

When Simon opened his eyes, he was surprised to be comfortable lying in his bed. He sat, put his glasses on and took a look at the room. On the bed, there was a jacket and his wallet. Wait a second… A jacket? What the hell? He bolted up - which he regretted when he felt his headache from yesterday waking up -  and started pacing. What if someone had slept here? He inspected every single room in his apartment on his tiptoes. No doubt, he was alone. So, why the hell was there a jacket which didn’t belong to him, on his bed? He took a glass of water and drank it in one go, before coming back to his room. He slowly took the jacket and searched in the pockets. He found a phone, with 5 missed calls from ‘Magnus’ and several messages from the same man. The background photo was a photograph of three boys and the one on the right - who looked bored - rang a bell, it was Raphael, the boy who brought him out from the club yesterday. He sighted, reassured and started to recollect last night’s events, a smile on his lips. Only then Simon started really panicking if Raphael had forgotten his phone at his house, he needed to bring it back to him, but how? While talking with him, he had realized that it wasn’t Raphael’s type to be in such places, so there was no way he would see him there tonight. He looked at the phone desperately. If only he could unlock it to call someone. He had only another option left: to wait until someone called him. After all, Raphael would like to take his belongings back and he probably knew where he left them, as, contrary to him, he wasn’t drunk last night. As if someone could hear his prayer, the phone started ringing in his hands. It was a call from ‘Magnus’ again. Simon took a few seconds to think about it, he was sure he had already heard this name somewhere.

“Hello?” he asked perplexed.

“Raphael! Finally!” the boy exclaimed. “You scared me last night! You could have told me you were leaving I th-”

“Excuse me,” Simon cut him, “I thought Raphael was with you.”

There was a heavy silence before the man started talking again.

“Who are you?”

“Hum”, Simon scratched his neck nervously. “My name’s Simon. Simon Lewis. I met Raphael yesterday and-”

“You slept together and this idiot left without taking his phone,” he cut him, “I told him hundreds time to pay attention, what a stupid kid.”

“Hum… okay.” Simon answered doubtfully, “I think there is a big misunderstanding. Raphael only brought me home yesterday night. He forgot his jacket when he left, nothing more.”

“Yeah, I should have guessed. It’s more like him” the boy - Magnus murmured as if he was talking to himself.

“Do you have any way to contact him?” Simon asked he wanted to end this conversation quickly.

Magnus seemed to be thinking.

“Do you have something to write Sheldon? I’m gonna give you his address.”

“It’s Simon”, he corrected while taking his own phone to write. “I’m good,” he said while sitting on the bed.

Magnus told him all the information he needed and a list of codes to unlock the doors, after that, he ended the call without a word. Simon raised an eyebrow when he heard the “bip” signaling the end of the conversation. He took a shower and brushed his teeth while searching the itinerary to go to Raphael’s apartment. Once he was fully dressed, he went to the boy’s place. He took the stairs to the third floor and knock on the second door - as indicated by Magnus. He heard nothing so he rang at the door once, twice and a third time resigned. To his surprise, he heard some noises and then the door opened in front of him. Raphael was here, half-naked, a towel around his hips - cliché! His hair was wet so was his skin and he seemed shocked. It took Simon all his will to not stare at Raphael’s torso nor the towel which was hiding a few precious centimeters of his body.

“Simon?” he asked as if he couldn't believe his eyes.

“Hello”, Simon murmured with a small wave of the hand. “You forgot your jacket last night. I mean, this morning. Well, I think it was this morning,” he confessed. “I don’t remember when exactly, but…” he glanced at Raphael who seemed to be more lost than ever. “I need to stop talking. That’s a good idea.”

Raphael raised his eyebrows before telling Simon to enter the apartment.

“I need to put some clothes on”, he announced, “make yourself at home.”

Simon nodded and looked at him when he went to his room. He was impressed, Raphael had the six-pack. He wouldn’t have guessed, well he could have, as he had carried him on his back yesterday.  

He was looking at the room when Raphael came back. He was wearing a dark suit which really suits him. He approached Simon and grabbed his jacket.

“Thank you for bringing it back so fast,” he said with a small smile.

Simon looked at him without saying anything. Contrary to yesterday he was so happy to have been dragged out of the club by Raphael. After all, his friends could find out about their feelings by themselves and let him meeting other boys. Raphael was so beautiful with his curly hair, his dark eyes, and his bored expression.  

“Do you want anything to drink?” he asked.

Simon nodded nervously. He didn’t want to leave without the boy’s number.

“Or,” he started, “maybe, we could go out. I mean as, eating together. Not going out like that... even though I’m not against the idea”, he murmured.

Raphael thought about it for a few seconds. He finally murmured an “okay” and grabbed his key. When he went to take his wallet Simon stopped him.

“I’m paying!” he exclaims.

Raphael nodded but discreetly put his credit card in his pocket. They choose a small café in which both of them took a brunch. The meal ended quickly. They talked about everything, it was even more enjoyable than yesterday as they were sober. They were so different on many things, such as music, movies, hobbies, job… But it didn’t bother them, on the contrary! Time passed by and both of them regretted the moment they had to go. They would have loved to stay a bit longer, but the waiter politely explained that they needed to use their table for new customers - they had been there for more than two hours. Raphael pretended to go to the toilets in order to pay the bill before indicating Simon to leave.

“I’m gonna pay, wait for me outside,” he said with a smile.

Raphael watched him leave and left the restaurant, proud of himself. When Simon joined him, he had his eyebrows knitted together.

“You lied to me, Raphael! I took you out, you shouldn’t have paid the bill!” he protested.

The boy shrugged amused.

“Maybe next time?” Raphael asked casually.

It seemed to bring Simon’s smile back. He nodded happily.

“For that, I’ll need your phone number,” he said with what he hoped to be confident, but Raphael knew he was nervous.

Raphael took his phone from his pocket and added a new contact, he gave it to Simon who fulfilled the information before handing it back to its owner, with a goofy smile on the face.

“What did you do?” Raphael asked suspiciously.  

“Nothing!” Simon answered innocently.

“Don’t fool me, Lewis.”

Simon pouted and Raphael smirked. He was about to say goodbye when Simon placed a kiss on his cheek.

“If you go to the Pandemonium again, tell me!” he said while leaving. “And don’t forget to send me a text!” he exclaimed.

Raphael stood frozen. It was so weird to say goodbye like that but he tried not to pay too much attention to it, nor to the strange feeling he had in his chest.

The next few days, he became addicted to his phone and spend his days sending texts to ‘the man you tried to kidnap’ soon renamed ‘Simon’ because it was fucking annoying to receive notification from two lines every second. This new addiction earned him lots of remarks from his colleagues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As usual, I apologize for grammatical mistakes.


	3. I think I found something

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, here is the third chapter.  
> /!\ there is a smut!  
> Enjoy ~
> 
> 25/04/2018: Once again, I tried to correct as many mistakes as I could, but I stopped at the beginning of this chapter... I'm so ashamed. I have to rewrite everything it's so bad! I'm so sorry for those who are reading this. But I don't feel like spending the day correcting it. I'll probably go back to this during the summer break. Idk.

The following Friday, when Magnus asked Raphael to go to the Pandemonium, he was surprised his friend agreed so quickly. The Hispanic sent a message to Simon

   To Simon: I’m going to the Pandemonium tonight. Are you in?

He thought about editing it, however, Magnus took his phone from his hands, read the message and press the “send” button for him.

“Magnus! What the hell?” Raphael protested.

“Don’t Magnus me. You would have sent it anyway. I avoided you hours of internal debate.”

The phone rang which stopped Magnus and Raphael’s argument. Both looked at the phone.

   From Simon: Of course! Are we going together? Or do you want me to pick u up?

Raphael thought for a moment. Both propositions were the same, right? The phone rang again which startled Raphael. 

   From Simon: I mean, do u want me to pick u up or are we meeting at the Pandemonium?

Raphael smiled, amused, before offering Simon to meet at his apartment at 10.00 pm and warning him he was with some friends.

“Magnus, I need your help” sighed Raphael while glancing at his wardrobe.

“I thought you’ll never ask,” confessed Magnus smiling.

He first looked at the shirts but found them too classy for a party. After a long moment, Magnus selected two t-shirts, one burgundy, the other black which he put on Raphael’s torso. He pouted.

“Don't you want to borrow something of mine?” he offered resigned.

“Not a chance! I’m not wearing a t-shirt on which it is written ‘ONE MILLION DOLLARS’ in strass.”

“I was thinking about a simple black tank top,” he answered with a small smile.

“I’m not an idiot Magnus. I know you, you don’t own anything ‘simple’ in your wardrobe.”

Magnus rolled his eyes. Finally, he chose the black t-shirt and a jean. He added a belt. Then he grabbed a black leather jacket on which there were some red patterns. 

“For the shoes I let you choose, they’re all similars.”  

“Thanks” Raphael answered while looking at the clothes on his bed.

* * *

Simon arrived at Raphael's apartment a little anxious, he was ten minutes late and acted like it was the end of the world, even though Raphael didn’t care, Simon was here anyway, he didn’t need anything more. Magnus didn’t pay attention to it either, he had all his makeup to put on and in his opinion, he needed to be late to draw attention on him. Moreover, he had asked Alec to met with him in a few minutes, which gave them time to get ready.

* * *

The four of them went to Pandemonium, and two groups quickly formed, Alec and Magnus in front, Raphael and Simon behind. While discussing about everything and nothing, Raphael learned that Simon was playing in a band, which name was weird, to say the least. He promised to go to one of their gigs. Simon was put under stress at the thought of Raphael listening to him singing for the first time, he doubted his talent. When they arrived at the club, after avoiding to line up - thanks to Magnus who was running the Pandemonium -, Raphael helped Simon to take his jacket off before leaving it in the cloakroom with his own. The place was already crowded even if the party had barely begun.

The first drinks were on Magnus, who quickly get up to dance, bringing Simon and Alec with him. Raphael shoot him a dirty look, knowing he had done that to make him dance.

* * *

He had been looking at Simon dancing for a while now. He wanted to join him, to send away all those persons who approached Simon a little too close. At some point, a blond-haired guy made his appearance at Simon’s side and started whispering things into his ear, Raphael clenched his fist, angrily. Simon wasn’t his, but they were spending their evening together. To his astonishment, Simon rejected the boy with a nod in Raphael’s direction. The blond haired-guy looked at him and sent him a small smile before leaving.  Mustering his courage, Raphael stood up and went to met with Simon, he put his hands on his waist and hid his face in the other’s neck. The taller one seemed surprised for a few seconds before smiling.

“What did this guy wanted?” Raphael asked angrily.

“To offer me a drink”, Simon answered with a shrug.

“You refused?”

“I was afraid it would make your jealous,” he said mockingly. 

Raphael let a nervous laugh escape his lips before getting closer to his new dance partner. The taller one hugged him loosely. He guided him in a small dance, trying to keep him at his side. For the first time since they met, it was a success. Raphael laughed when he almost made them fall. They didn’t have a lot of space to dance, but it didn’t bother them, since it was an excuse to get close to each other. After a while, when both of them started to have a headache because of the music, they went to take their belongings in the cloakroom and left the club hand in hand. Once outside, they talked like they always did, but something was different, they were so much more closer and there fingers stayed intertwined all the way to Simon’s apartment. When they reached their destination, they looked at each other in silence. None of them wanted to go home, that’s why in the first place they had decided to go to Simon’s place, it was further than Raphael’s. Simon looked at the door of his apartment.

“Do you want to have a drink?” he offered.

Raphael looked at him with a bright smile, he nodded before following Simon to the lift. At the moment the doors closed, they started looking at each other with shy smiles. Both of them knew where it could lead them, but none of them wanted to end the evening.

When Simon opened his door, they took their jackets off and put them on a chair. He gave Raphael a cocktail, which the boy drank quickly. Then, they went to sit on the couch, Simon put his head on Raphael’s lap. They started talking about the evening and after a while, when Simon was ranting about some guy named Sebastian, Raphael started to stroke Simon’s dark curls. He really liked him but Simon had the bad habit to talk too much. Raphael was starting to fell asleep when the boy offered him to spend the night at his house, pretexting that at that time of the night, his risks to met a psychopath were high. Raphael would have agreed anyway but he appreciated Simon’s effort to hold him back.

They decided to go in Simon’s bedroom because they were slowly falling asleep on the couch. Simon gave him a Captain America t-shirt. The Hispanic laughed when he looked at Simon’s wardrobe, it was mostly composed of Marvel t-shirts. He took his jeans and t-shirt off, before grabbing Simon’s t-shirt on the bed. Only then, he noticed Simon staring at him, well at his abs mostly. He looked at the boy until he found out he had been spotted. At that moment Simon’s cheeks turned red and he started apologizing. Raphael wasn’t mad at him, but he didn’t said anything. He slowly approached Simon who seemed scared.

“I can sleep in my boxers if you want”, he offered with a smirk.

Simon murmured incoherent stuff before turning toward Raphael, he gulped when he saw that he was half naked. He was really testing his limits. They locked eyes and Raphael smiled at him clearly amused by the situation. Simon then looked at the boy’s lips, he suddenly felt the urge to kiss him but he put his best poker face on and let his eyes go down. He noticed a silver necklace in the form of a cross.

“You’re Catholic?” he asked to change the subject.

Raphael rolled his eyes.

“Seriously Lewis?”

A little disappointed by their exchange, he went to lie down on the bed, soon joined by Simon. Raphael got a little closer to Simon and put his arm around his waist. He felt the brown-haired guy shivered but didn’t commented it, he only let a small laugh escape his lips which earned him a tap on the shoulder.

“What?” he protested while smiling.

“You’re making fun of me,” Simon grumbled.

“It’s not a reason to hit me.” Raphael pouted.

“It is.”

Raphael shook his head. He started to pull Simon’s t-shirt up in order to caress his skin. In a few minutes he heard the boy’s breathing stabilised, he had fallen asleep. It definitely wasn’t what he was expecting when he had agreed to take a drink.

* * *

Simon woke up because of the sun in the room. How had he forget to close the shutters yester night? He hated waking up like that. He slowly turned his head on the side and looked at Raphael’s peaceful sleeping face. Simon felt his cheeks turning red. He had wanted to kiss and touch him all night, but he hadn't made a move on the boy, even though Raphael had sent him lots of signals. He was probably disappointed. He would probably refused to come back in the future, Simon wouldn’t be surprised.

“Stop staring at me.” Murmured Raphael without opening his eyes.

Simon jumped at the sound. How had he noticed without looking at him? Finally, Raphael slowly opened his eyes and smiled at Simon when their eyes locked. He turned toward the boy, then, slowly he nestled against him.

“Can we spend all day here?” he asked while slowly caressing Simon's waist.

Simon who felt his heart beating madly in his chest nodded.

“Perfect” he murmured and slowly closed his eyes - again.

Simon frowned.

“You’re gonna spend the day sleeping?” He asked skeptically.

A small smile appeared on Raphael’s lips.

“Were you planning something else?” he inquired casually.

Simon bit his lips, offended by Raphael’s game. However, he could play too.

“Not at all” he answered flatly, before placing an arm around his partner’s waist. “You’ll tell me when you’re hungry? I’ll cook something.”

Raphael nodded and snuggled closer to Simon. He interlaced their legs and put a hand on Simon’s torso. Simon stared at him without saying anything, he slowly drew circles on the boy’s waist while closing his eyes. Finally, they both fell asleep and woke up again two hours later. This time, Simon decided to get up and take a shower, he then brushed his teeth and noticed he hadn't taken clean clothes. When he quietly opened the door, he found out that Raphael was awake and on his phone. He went to his wardrobe and took everything he needed. He slipped his underwear on, keeping his towel around his waist before putting the rest on. Simon then turned toward Raphael who had kept looking at his phone (at least, that’s what Simon believed).

“Are you hungry?”

“A little” Raphael answered. “Do you need help?”

Simon shook his head and grabbed the towel he had used.

“You can borrow some clothes if you want to shower,” he offered.

“Thanks” he answered with a smile “Can I borrow you a toothbrush?”

Simon stared at him like he was stupid. He shook his head and gave his ‘friend’ all the things he needed.

* * *

After spending the whole day together, firstly hugging in Simon’s bed, then watching the TV, talking and ordering a pizza, they decided to say goodbye. Raphael came closer to the door, hesitant. He didn’t want to leave yet, but he needed to. The following day was his last day off he had work to catch up. Simon slowly approached him and stared at Raphael before leaning and kissing the boy on the corner of the mouth. The later who started to get tired of their dance, put his arms around his partner's neck and kissed him tenderly on the mouth. Simon put his hands on his waist and kissed him back. When he broke the kiss, he realised with a smile that Raphael was on his tiptoes.

“You’re so cute” he whispered.

Raphael threw him a dark glare, soon replaced by a large smile when Simon leaned forward to kiss him again. He didn’t want anything to stop, he needed to touch Simon, that’s why he moved his hands to Simon’s waist and underneath his t-shirt, slightly scratching his skin. Simon moaned at the gesture. They broke their kiss and stared at each other, dilated pupils. They desired the same thing. Raphael took his jacket off hastily before throwing his t-shirt behind him. Simon looked at him strip and when Raphael was half-naked, he kissed him firmly on the mouth before going down, again and again until he reach the junction of Raphael’s neck and shoulder. He slowly bite the skin and sucked the mark he had done, under Raphael’s moans. He decided to end by dropping a kiss on the love bite he had made.  

“Non vedo l'ora di sentirti dentro di me.” Raphael growled before throwing his head back.

Simon kissed Raphael again while pushing him to his bedroom. The elder was trying to took the boy’s clothes off, but it was difficult to focus on Simon’s lips and attire. Finally, they made it to the bed, Raphael was able to undress his partner who had lots of difficulties to breath correctly. He pushed him carelessly on the bed, Simon was looking at him with a wide smile before coming closer to him, not leaving the bed. He grabbed Raphael by his belt loops and draw him toward him to kiss him just underneath his belly button. Raphael let an heavy sigh escape his lips when he felt Simon unbuckled his belt. He quickly put his jeans down and bend toward Simon, to kiss him eagerly. Simon broke the kiss to get a condom and the lube from the drawer. Raphael joined him on the bed, shaking from excitement. Simon couldn’t help but kiss him deeply. When Raphael was lost in the moment, Simon flipped them, reversing their positions. He laughed when he heard Raphael yelp in surprised. Simon put his hands on his partner’s boxers, Raphael who guessed what he wanted to do, raised his hips to help him to take it off. Simon stopped when he saw how beautiful Raphael was entirely naked.

“No te detengas.” Raphael begged.

Simon shook his head, before grabbing the lube and applying a small amount on his fingers. He started stroking his partner’s member shily. When he saw the boy closing his eyes and grabbing the sheets, he gained self-confidence and intensified his movements. He approached Raphael’s rim and after circling it, he slowly pushed his finger in. Raphael arched his back while moaning. Knowing he was hurting his partner, Simon kept caressing the boy’s member while preparing him, he added another finger and a third one, when he was ready. After a few - endless - minutes, Raphael begged him to fuck him. Simon didn’t need him to repeat, he put a condom on his manhood and applied a small quantity of lube on it before penetrating slowly his partner who was frowning from pain. Simon kissed him tenderly multiple times, trying to distract him. He placed his forearms on each side of Raphael’s head and waited until he was ready. Finally, Raphael move his hips slowly and sighed when he only felt a slight pain.

“You can move.” He murmured.

Simon bite his lips relieved and started his movement while watching his partner’s face. The boy was frowning at first, he had his mouth half opened but no sound escaped it. Everything in him called for lust, especially his cheeks which had taken a pinkish shade. Without thinking, Simon dropped new kisses underneath his hears, kisses which quickly transformed into bites and hickeys. Simon quickened his pace encouraged by Raphael’s moans. The elder slowly loosed his grasp on the sheets to put his arms around Simon’s shoulders. He held onto it with all his strength. His breath hitched when Simon touched this bundle of nerves inside him. He couldn’t hold back a shout which made Simon smiled. He tried to hit his prostate with every move. Raphael didn’t last very long and reached his orgasm in a last heavy sight. Simon was right behind, Raphael’s name on the lips. He collapsed on his Partner, out of breath. Raphael stroked his hair for long minutes, before groaning when Simon removed himself. Simon stood up and went to throw the condom in the trash. He came back with a wet towel to clean Raphael up. Once he was done, he came back to bed, put his arm around Raphael’s waist and closed his eyes, tiredly. Both of them fell asleep peacefully.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translation:  
> Non vedo l'ora di sentirti dentro di me: I can't wait to feel you inside of me  
> No te detengas: don't stop


	4. I've been callin' you friend, I might need to give it up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello :) I know I'm late, but I have lots of exams coming, so I needed to study, and yesterday I hadn't finished translating this chapter.  
> Enjoy ~

Raphael woke up first. He was hot, really hot, probably because somebody was hugging him. He looked at Simon tenderly, the boy seemed so relaxed. It was strange to see someone as excited as him sleeping peacefully. He gently stroked the boy’s cheek and pushed an hair strand which was falling on his eyes, smiling.

Simon whined slightly before whispering incoherent words, making Raphael backed away, surprised. Only then, the elder noticed he was naked and he panicked. Yesterday evening had taken an unexpected turn. Okay, he was lying, both of them knew what could happen ; Raphael even initiated things. However, he hadn’t thought about the consequences and now, didn’t want to make Simon false promises. He wasn’t in love with him. He didn’t even know what he felt. He wanted Simon, for sure, but nothing more. Desire. Simon opened his eyes and stared at Raphael without the other noticing him, too lost in his own thoughts. Simon’s throat tightened. Raphael regretted sleeping with him, he was certain. He felt his eyes watering, it wasn’t his type to hook up every month so he felt betrayed. He nestled against him, wanting to have a clear answer, even if it resulted in him leaving his apartment right away. His only wish was his anxiety to disappear. It took Raphael a few minutes to react to Simon’s move as he didn’t know what to do, but he slowly put his hands around Simon’s waist.

“Hello” he murmured while kissing Simon’s forehead.

Simon looked at him surprised and smiled at his lover? Friend? He whispered a greeting before dropping a kiss on the boy’s neck. After spending a few minutes hugging each other, they left the bed and cooked breakfast. They started eating in a tense atmosphere, and when they ended their meal, none of them had talk. Simon, who was starting to get annoyed decided to break this silence.

“What are we?” he asked doubtfully.  

Raphael swallowed hard, he hated this question. He stood up and took the glasses to the sink. When he turned toward Simon, he maintained his glare. He was nervous, Simon could see it just from the way he was standing.

“Listen Simon” he started shakily. “You’re cute, really. I like you, you’re funny-”

“But?” the boy who wanted a clear answer, cut him.

Raphael bite his lips, carefully choosing his words.

“I’m not in love with you.” he confessed.

Once the words spoken, he regretted them bitterly. It was too abrupt and fake. He really liked him, but not as he was supposed to love a boyfriend. He looked at Simon who was nodding quietly.

“Not romantically” Raphael added to reassure him. “I don’t want to lie to you and I don’t want to lose you… I just… want to… keep seeing you because... I really like you?” Raphael stuttered, it sounded more like a question than an affirmation.

They stared at each other quietly.

“You want us to become friends with benefits?” Simon questioned after a few minutes.

Raphael looked at him perplexed.  

“What do you mean?” he asked in a whisper.

“You want us to be friends, and to hook up…?”

Raphael thought about it. He would never have imagined himself doing something like that (but after all, he had never dated anyone, so it was an option). What would happen if he refused? Would it mean ending everything between them? On the opposite, if he accepted, he knew it would allow him to come back, to touch him, without needing to pretend to be in love with him. Where was the harm in it? Moreover, it was Simon’s offer, so it wasn’t bothering him right?

“Are you okay with it?”

“Yeah”, Simon sighed while standing up to wash the dishes.

Raphael raised his eyebrows suspicious. He moved so that Simon could accede to the sink, which he did, angrily. Raphael came closer and from behind, he put his hands around Simon’s waist before hiding his head in the crook of his neck.

“You’ll tell me if it was bothering you, right?” he demanded while dropping small kisses on his skin.

Simon nodded nervously. He knew he was committing a mistake. Raphael on the other hand, even if he was confident, wanted to be sure the boy was willing to do it, before starting anything. Something difficult because of the boy’s reactions.

“If you have any doubt, or if you just want it to end, tell me and we’ll forget it. We’ll act like nothing ever happened.”

His words came as a bombshell. Simon repeated them in his head 'we’ll act like nothing ever happened'. It was all. Sex. Nothing more. No feelings, no date, no couple. He should have guessed, after all, they have been seeing each other for less than a month. So why was he so hurt?

“Okay” he sighed.

* * *

That’s how started their routine. The weeks went by slowly and the two of them kept exchanging lots of messages, they even tried to call each other every night and when Friday came, they met at Simon’s place. Raphael spent all his week-ends with him at first, but as time passed, he neglected Simon. He came, hook up with him, and when the sun rose, kissed Simon quickly before disappearing. It wasn’t really Raphael’s fault as it was normal to act like that in a relation like the one they were sharing. Yet, Simon was expecting more. Not a lot, just Raphael to stay a little bit longer and to talk to him, to tell him how was his week, his problems, but no, Raphael was barely answering his messages anymore, pretending he had meetings to attend. He wasn’t answering his phone call either and showed up like a flower on friday. He had talk about it to Jace, his best friend, not mentioning the fact they were friends with benefits, pretending they were a couple. He couldn’t have told the truth to Jace as the boy had cheered when he had heard Simon had met someone. The browned-haired guy was ashamed. Jace had tried to reassure him, claiming it was normal to take distance in a couple. He even protected Raphael and told Simon to have a talk with his ‘boyfriend’. Simon agreed but it was a lie, he was persuaded that Raphael wouldn’t listen to him.

* * *

One day, Simon was starting to be fed up with all of this. He had decided to stay quiet and enjoy every moments he could spend with Raphael, but he couldn’t bear it anymore. The previous day, he had came to his apartment, as per usual and they had had a little talk but Raphael had seemed to be somewhere else. Simon, sad to saw him like that had tried to cheer him up, by joking but he had failed totally. Finally, he succeeded when he led him to ~~their bedroom~~ his bedroom, which was also Raphael’s on Friday. Their evening went well, even if they had talk less than ever. Raphael had enjoy it, Simon was certain, as the boy had been rougher than usual, he hadn’t hurt him, but Simon was wondering if Raphael hadn’t forget they were two. He had seemed to only think about his own pleasure, not his partner’s. When Raphael fell asleep, Simon left the bedroom. He decided to go and take a shower because he felt filthy, not because of their activities. It was different.

He sat in the bathtub and let the hot water running on his skin. He was staring into space when he started to see things blurrily. He only noticed he was crying when he heard a sob escaping his lips. He wiped his tears nervously before letting them fall. He had never felt that dirty in his entire life.

* * *

The following morning, Simon was trying to act natural, however, when he kissed raphael to greet him, he felt sick. The previous night, after spending more than an hour in the shower, thinking, he had decided to come back to bed. He needed to talk to someone, and the only person he could think about was Jace. He needed to confess everything after Raphael’s departure.

For the moment, he was cooking breakfast, even if Raphael was distracting him, being more tactile than ever, the boy was trying to catch Simon’s attention.

“What’s the matter with you?” he inquired.

“I’m a little tired, that’s all.” lied the boy with glasses.

Raphael shrugged, skeptical, before resuming to his previous activity which was kissing Simon’s neck. When he arrived at the junction of Simon’s shoulder, he slightly bite the skin before suking the mark, he had made the previous night. He let his hands wandered on his partner’s body before putting them on his hips. Simon shivered, he wanted to do more than that, but at the same time he wanted to stop everything.

“Raphael” he sighed. “I really want to do it, but my pelvis hurt” he lied.

Raphael nodded slowly.

“What time is it?” he asked.

“10AM…” Simon answered when he looked at the clock.

“I need to go” he announced.

“Right now?” he sounded astonished.

“I’m working tomorrow.”

Simon held back the words he wanted to spat, before closing the sink. He dried his hands and turned toward Raphael. He seemed sorry, but Simon really doubted his sincerity.

“When can I see you again?”

“Whenever you want.” he answered with a final kiss on Simon’s lips. “I’ll be busy, we have lots of meeting this week, but I swear it’s the last one.”

Simon nodded slowly, he put his hands in Raphael’s back pocket and stared at him.

“I swear, sent me a message and I’m on my way.” the hispanic affirmed.

Raphael rolled his eyes at Simon’s pout and kissed him again, tenderly at first, but it escalated quickly. Simon broke the kiss when Raphael bite on his lip.

“You truly have a problem with bites” he murmured. “You may have been a vampire in another life.” he laughed.

“Probably” Raphael whispered with a smirk.

Simon smiled at him before pecking his friend’s lips (these words seemed so strange).

“I need to go” repeated Raphael.

“I’m not holding you.”

“Yes you are. You’re distracting me. I want to spend my day with you.”

“If you really want to, what’s preventing you to do so? You could leave at 6PM. It’s still early.” Simon offered.

“I can’t. I’ve paperwork to do for tomorrow’s meeting. But I’ll be back soon.”

Simon sighed. Raphael dropped a small kiss on his forehead and a last one on his nose before grabbing his jacket and leaving.

* * *

Raphael wasn’t blind, he knew something was bothering Simon, he just couldn’t found out what. He knew an exhausting week was coming, he needed to plan lots of meeting at the hotel he was handling. He wasn’t sure to be able to see Simon friday, but he hadn’t told the boy, not wanting to hurt him. He tried to reassure himself by thinking to next week. He would have less work to do and will be able to take better care of Simon. He needed to take him out, to the restaurant, and even to theater to see the new Star Wars Simon couldn’t stop talking about.

On his way back to his apartment, he changed his mind and decided to talk to Magnus who was now officially dating Alec. When he arrived, he found his friend in a black t-shirt clearly too big for himself (no doubt it was Alec’s). They had talked a long time and Raphael had confessed everything. His friend had been shocked when he had heard the nature of Simon and Raphael’s relationship and started an interrogation when the boy told him his fears concerning Simon.

“You’re not going to lie to me by telling me you don’t feel a thing for Sheldon?” he asked with big gestures.

“It’s not love” Raphael answered with frown eyebrows. “It’s just… I don’t know.” he confessed. ‘It’s different…”

Magnus raised his eyebrows, he sighed before standing up.

“You know that friends with benefits aren’t supposed to ask themself as many questions as you do?”

“No I don’t. It’s the first time I’m in a such relationship.” Raphael blurted out.

“Well, you should end it.” Magnus affirmed.

“What? Why?” he questioned offended.

“Because, clearly, it’s not what both of you desire.” he said with the ‘are you stupid?’ face.

“How am I supposed to know what Simon want?” Raphael protested.

“Do you know the key of an healthy relationship?” asked Magnus. He didn’t wait for Raphael’s answer to keep talking. “It’s what I don’t cease to tell Alexander: communication. You need to talk. To confess each other your biggest fears and desires, in order to move your relationship forward”. He raised his hand when he saw that Raphael was ready to protest. “Shush! If you didn’t want to be with him, you wouldn’t have come to me and asked for advices.”

It seemed to shut Raphael up, as the boy only crossed his arms, resigned. This gesture made Magnus laughed, as it reminded him Raphael when he was younger, the one he had met a few years ago. This grumpy teenager who was constantly acting like he was bored.

“When am I supposed to do that?” he asked.

“Next friday” Magnus smiled.


	5. Don't let me go

After Raphael’s departure, Simon went to sit in the living room and sent a message to his best friend.

  To Jace: I need you.

He didn’t had to wait long to get an answer. 

  From Jace: Im not surprised! ;) What can I do for u?

  To Jace: It’s about Raphael. I have a problem.

He had barely click on the button 'send' that someone knocked on his door. He opened it quickly, not surprised to see his friend, as he was living on the same floor since Simon had moved here. 

“Jace.”

“What’s up buddy?” asked the blonde-haired guy while hugging him.

“It’s complicated” Simon murmured while indicating Jace to came in.

“Did he do something to you?” asked the boy worried. “Because I can wipe him out! I take Sebastian with me and we can fight him!”

“Jace!” Simon cut him. “It nothing like that… it’s just...” he bite his lips nervously, ashamed. “We kinda... hooked up.” he confessed.

“Did he force you?” Jace asked angrily.

“Not at all! I wanted to!”

There was a small silence.

“Did he hurt you?” the blonde-haired guy inquired softly.

“No!” Simon exclaimed. “It was perfect! I mean… until I woke up.”

Jace eyes darken, he frowned.

“When I asked him what we were, he confessed he wasn’t in love with me. I wasn’t surprise, but still, I was hurt. After that, he told me that he liked me and he wanted to keep seeing me. I…” he hesitated. “I offered him to become friends with benefits… I-I-I didn’t want to tell you sooner because I was ashamed…” he confided. “Anyway… he agreed and that’s how our routine started. He come to my apartment every friday and we hook up every time. The problem is” he scratched his neck nervously “that he has been more distant lately. He doesn’t talk a lot anymore” he said while walking in circle. “Rarely stay until the following morning and barely say goodbye… I know it’s stupid, because we’re not really together… It’s just that…” he hesitated “I don’t want this situation to keep going. I don’t know what to do.”

Jace looked at him softly.

“Simon,” he murmured “why are you inflicting this to yourself?”

“I prefered this at stopping seeing him.” confessed the boy “It’s also because I care about him… I need him.”

“Did you try to talk to him?”

“No, because I know it’s not what he want.” he answered  “This morning, he wanted to initiate things. And when I refused, he said he needed to leave, while pretending he didn’t want to. It sounded fake “Simon explained panicked. “I’m tired of that, but I need it.”

“Simon,” Jace began calmly “do you realise that this relationship isn’t good for you?”

“I know, but I care about him. I like him for who he is.”

“From what you told me, he looks like an asshole.” Jace stated.

“He wasn’t like that at the beginning.” Simon insisted.

“Simon, when he will end up things between the two of you, he’s going to hurt you. Really hurt you.” Jace sighed. 

When he looked into his friend’s eyes, he noticed they were shining. Understanding quickly why, he came closer to him and hugged him. 

“I know you don’t want to, but you need to tell him that everything is over.”

“Why?”

“Because,” Jace explained while drawing circles on the boy’s back, “you’ll see if he truly care about you and if he’s worth it.”

“He won’t care about it.”

“We’ll see” Jace reassured him. He looked at the boy and ruffled his hair. “If he doesn’t fight for you, he doesn’t deserve you. Plus I know how to make him react.

* * *

The following friday, both boys had agreed to meet a little sooner than usual. Raphael was confident contrary to Simon who was shaking every time he felt Raphael’s hands on his body, or when he knew the boy was behind him.

“Simon?” Raphael asked worried by the boy’s behavior. 

The browed-haired guy sighed, he needed to tell him now.

“I found someone,” he announced. “He want to date me and I need to think about it.”

Raphael abruptly stopped breathing. He felt a strange pang in his chest.

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” he asked in a weird voice, trying to hide the hatred he felt for this mysterious person.

Simon let an heavy sigh escaping his lips. He wasn’t expecting Raphael to cry or to yell, it was Raphael, the man who hide his emotions 24/7. But why was he asking something this stupid? It exceeded his imagination. 

“That’s it? Is that all you’re interested in?” he asked hurt.

Raphael shrugged. 

“We never promised anything.”

Simon laughed nervously.

“You’re right. I was afraid you’ll be offended but you don’t give a shit.”

“I care about you Simon, but what do you expect me to say? Congratulation? When are you planning to get married?” he asked fakely joyful.

An heavy silence fell on the room, when Raphael realised he had hurt Simon, he decided to talk.

“Sorry” he mumbled. “Who is it?”

“Jace.” Simon announced hastily.

He had talked about him to Raphael, it was more believable. 

“Jace?” Raphael asked with frown eyebrows. “Your best friend?”

“Yes.”

Raphael nodded.

“Good for you,” he said simply.

“What?” Simon asked lost.

“If you were that close before, it’s a good sign. Your relationship should last a long time.” Raphael said nonchalantly.  

Simon looked at the floor, anxiously. Nothing was happening as planned. What he didn’t know, was that Raphael was angry. He had came today in order to ask Simon to date him, not to stop everything. The hispanic clenched his jaw, trying to stay calm and to act like everything was fine. He wanted to make Simon happy. After all, if he truly loved him, the best he could do was to let him choose. Right? It was always the case in movies, yet, Raphael wanted to be selfish and to keep the brown-haired guy for himself. He took a deep breath and when he felt his eyes watering from angriness, he turned so that Simon couldn’t be able to see his face. ‘Come on, get a grip!’ Raphael thought. He wanted to punch something, anything, just to calm down. He blinked his eyes multiple times and glanced at the room.

“Raphael?” a small voice asked.

“I’m okay.” Raphael answered harshly “I’m just a little confused.” he confessed.

“I haven’t chosen yet.” Simon reassured him.

Raphael didn’t answered, he wanted him to refuse, he wanted to say that he loved him, everything to prevent him from accepting. He couldn’t imagine his Simon with someone else. He couldn’t bear the idea of someone else touching him, kissing him, or worst, making love to him, he hadn’t had the chance to do it, too dumb to seize this opportunity. Was it normal to want to deprive everybody from doing so? He wanted to be the only one to see Simon in his entirety. The only one to make him laugh, to see him pouting, crying, smiling. And the only one to mark his skin.

“You should accept” Raphael blurted out without thinking.

Simon took a step back. He gulped hardly before nodding.

“I’ll be seeing him tomorrow,” he announced hesitantly. “One of our friends is coming too. Do you want to join us?” he offered. 

Raphael wanted to laugh so badly. Was he serious? Simon really wished to make him suffer. He just announced him that everything between them was ending and he proposed him to join his date.

“Okay” he replied with a nervous smile.

After all, Raphael wanted to see that famous Jace. To ensure Simon was in good hands.

* * *

To say his night had been disturbing would be an euphemism. Raphael had spent one of the worst night of his life. He had tried to get closer to Simon, to hug him before remembering he couldn’t do it anymore. He was in a place familiar but felt like he was a total stranger. He stood up and went to take a shower after Simon. Their greetings had consisted in a simple “Hi” to Raphael’s greatest despair, who had wanted to kiss him. 

The worst started the moment Jace set a foot in the apartment. He stared at Raphael and soon, the hispanic understood he was seen as an enemy. He panicked, if Jace was Simon’s best friend, they had probably talked about him, like he did with Magnus. He tried not to overthink it and to act like nothing was wrong (which became difficult because of Jace’s behavior). 

* * *

Raphael was losing patience. He was trying to look at Simon, but he couldn’t stop glancing at Jace’s hand which was drawing small circles on his boyfriend’s neck. The way he was looking at him, the way he was caressing the boy’s skin, everything remembered him how he used to do it. Raphael was tapping his foot nervously, trying to stay focused on the conversation, but he had already failed. He met Jace’s eyes, the boy was smiling at him, friendly. The blonde-haired guy turned his head toward his lover and dropped small kisses on his cheeks, slowly going down until he reached his neck. Simon whose cheeks were getting red, asked him to stop, but he was smiling widely. Luckily, they had ended their meal, because if not, Raphael would have been delighted to stick his knife between Jace’s eyes. Simon who didn’t seemed to notice anything, looked at his phone.

“We should go.” he announced.

“We still got time,” Jace murmured. “Sebastian can take our places.”

“Raphael is coming with us” Simon whispered embarrassed.

“Why?” the blond haired-guy questioned.

“I offered him to come.” Simon answered with frowns eyebrows “he will talk to Sebastian.”

Jace shrugged but Raphael noticed something was wrong. He tried to guess what but couldn’t. Resigned, he stood up, grabbed his jacket and Simon’s coat which he gave to the boy.

* * *

When they arrived at the movie theater, they went to the back of the room. Jace sat in one of the loveseats and raised the armrest. Simon understood the message immediately and nestled against him. The blonde-haired guy put his arm around his shoulders. Raphael sat next to Simon, avoiding to look at them.

“Sebastian!” Simon yelled while raising his hand and gesturing at someone.

Raphael looked at the door where he saw a man, tall, judging by the high difference with the person around him. He was thin, wearing a jean slim and an orange t-shirt, which allowed Raphael to see a strange tattoo on his arm. He also had black Doc Martens. The boy had short white hair and some strands were falling in his eyes. No need to lie, he was good-looking. 

The boy approached them confidently, he was gigantic! He shook Raphael’s hand then Simon’s and ruffled Jace’s hair. He decided to sit next to Raphael, giving the couple some ‘privacy’. Although he said that with a smirk, Raphael noticed a hint sadness or angriness in his voice.

Both of them started talking and only stopped when the movie ‘Arrival’ began. 

* * *

When they left the movie theatre, Simon wanted to go home he did, with Jace (who acted like the perfect boyfriend he seemed to be), leaving a Raphael still angry and a Sebastian taken aback. Both of them stared at each other during a few seconds, before the taller one decided to broke the silence. 

“Can I offer you a drink?” he asked.

“Sure” Raphael answered with a small smile.

They went to a pub. After numerous drink, Raphael asked the question he wanted, since Simon and Jace’s departure.

“Did you know they were together?” he questioned while thinking to his expression when he had seen Simon in Raphael’s arms.

“Not at all.” Sebastian answered truthfully with a nervous laugh. “Did you?”

“I learned it yesterday, but I guess they had been together long before Simon told me, he was acting weird lately.”

“Really?” Sebastian asked with a frown. “I thought Jace was flirting with someone else, but as usual, I was wrong.” 

Raphael nodded nervously. He asked the barman another drink. Sebastian did the same and drank it in one go before asking for another one.

“Do you know for how long I know him?”

Raphael shook his head.”

“Three fucking years.”

Raphael whistled impressed.

“He didn’t even told me. And Simon, ah Simon, Simon, Simon,” he murmured “always here to piss me off!”

Raphael raised an eyebrow, perplex, he drank half of his drink in two gulps.

“I met him because of my sister” he grumbled. “They used to be best friends. One day she met Jace and they dated, she introduced us and I knew right away I was in love with him. I didn’t understood why he was wasting his time with her. Luckily, he broke up and Simon get closer to him. Clarissa and him talked less and less.” he said thoughtfully. “I don’t know how but Jace and I keep in touch. However, Simon won’t let us have some time alone.” he sighed. “What a stupid kid.”

“I like Simon.” Raphael murmured.

“No kidding?” Sebastian asked fakely shocked. “You couldn’t stop looking at him.”

“Liar” Raphael protested weakly. “I looked at him once” he said while rolling his eyes. “Maybe twice” he confessed “not more.”

“I’m sure you could have date him,” Sebastian confessed. 

“I did. Sort of…” Raphael mubled.

Sebastian made a noise at the back of his throat.

“When?”

“We hooked up a few times, but we weren’t dating. Simon and I were what he calls ‘friends with benefits’” he said without thinking because of the alcohol. “Then, one day, he decided to stop everything. The thing is… the day he did, I was planning to ask him out, as a date. Like officially. I even made a speech, which I probably wouldn’t have said.” he shrugged. “Yet, we could have dated and had our ‘happy end’ but  he chose someone else. I don’t know why I’m telling you all of this like it happened weeks ago, as it happened yesterday. At the beginning I thought I wasn’t feeling anything but I was so wrong…”

“I don’t understand how you manage to fall in love with him…”

“Me neither…” Raphael mumbled. “I’m sure I lost him because of my job, I had been busy for a few weeks…”

Sebastian nodded while taking his phone. He looked at the screen exhausted.

“What’s wrong?” The hispanic asked worried.

“Nothing. Not a word. I’m gonna talk to him. I won’t leave without answers” he grumbled. 

“You’re drunk.” Raphael stated.

“So are you.” Sebastian retorted.

He stood up, almost fell, took his wallet and looked at the barman.

“Can I have the bill, please?”

The man nodded and gave it to him. Sebastian payed despite Raphael’s protests. He said goodbye to the boy and left, mumbling some things about Jace.

Raphael sighed, left a tip and once outside, he grabbed his phone. When he noticed he Simon hadn’t sent him a message, bite his lip. He called Simon hesitantly and after three ringing, the boy picked up.

“Raphael?”

Raphael smiled, he liked his voice. To be honest, there wasn’t a thing he didn’t like about him. He loved his face, his gestures, his voice, his hair, and especially his eyes. He could look at them for hours without being bored.

“Raphael?” the boy repeated.

He thought about answering but didn’t know what to say.

“Hello?”

Raphael sighed and hung up. He returned to his apartment slowly and immediately went to his bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it for this chapter. I hope you aren't disgusted by the Jabastian. I know that not a lot of people ship them, but oh god! I'm so in love with this ship! I have to warn you now, next chapter will be about Jace and Sebastian, but it's the only one. I hope it won't bother you. :)


	6. Just tell me what you're doing with that other guy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Sorry I haven't posted anything for a long time. I had lots of exams but now I’m in holidays! Yay! To be honest I’m not satisfied with this chapter… I’m sure there are mistakes so please, if you found some of them, tell me so that I could correct them :)  
> This chapter is focused on Jace and Sebastian, and there is a smut. I’m sorry for the readers who are only here for the Saphael. You can skip it, if you’re not interested in it, it won’t be a problem to understand the next chapter. Hope you’ll like it! (I should be able to post chapter 7 next week)  
> Thank you so much for the kudos and comments you left on the previous chapters it always makes me happy :D

Simon spent at least ten minutes staring at his phone. He had been surprised by Raphael’s call, and even more when the boy had hung up without saying a word. What did he want? It was a mystery. He tried to write a message but didn't sent it. Resigned, he went to sleep, millions questions in his head.

* * *

 

Sebastian was walking confidently to Jace’s apartment, yet, when he arrived in front of the door, he felt all his courage disappearing. He had created dozen storylines in his head, but he hadn’t the bravery to realise one of them. He took a deep breath, counted to three and knocked on the door. Jace quickly opened it. He was wearing pyjama trousers and a white t-shirt. Sebastian looked at him up and down and gulped at the thought of him going to sleep with Simon.

“Am I bothering you?” he asked nervously. “If Simon’s here, I should go.”

Jace frowned and shook his head. He told him to come in and went to the living room.

“I won’t be long” Sebastian sighed.

He came closer to Jace and put his hand on the boy’s shoulder. The blond-haired guy stared at him, surprised.

“I’m disappointed in you.” he grumbled. “Seriously, firstly my sister, then Simon. You really have no taste.”

It seemed to brought Jace back to reality. 

“It’s not what you think!” he exclaimed.

“Oh, on the contrary, to me it seems perfectly clear.”

“I swear. I was doing this for Simon.” he tried. “Nothing happened between us.”

Sebastian took a step back and laughed. Jace felt uncomfortable in front of him. The taller one finally cease laughing and looked at Jace in his eyes.

“I’m not blind” he stated. “And I talked about it to Raphael. Simon told him you were together. That you had been for a long time.”

“We weren’t!” Jace protested. 

“Stop interrupting me!” Sebastian growled. He took a step back and almost fell.

“Sebastian, did you drink anything?” asked the blond-haired guy, while putting a hand on the boy’s back.

“Maybe, but don’t change the subject.” he mumbled.

“You’re drunk.”

“So what?” he asked while raising his voice.

“You can’t think straight.”

“It’s quite the opposite. I understand your little game better” he said with a finger on the boy’s torso. 

Jace bite his lip nervously, he didn’t know what to do to calm his friend. 

“Sebastian” he began slowly “you’re going to come with me and take a rest, you really need a nap. Then, tomorrow morning, when you’ll be sober, we’ll talk.”

“No. I want to end this conversation first.” he mumbled.

“And I refuse listening to you when you’re in that state” Jace insisted. 

Sebastian pouted. Jace grabbed his hand and lead him to his bedroom. He helped him to take his jacket off and asked him to take care of his jean. He went through his t-shirts and selected one of Sebastian’s which he had left here weeks ago. He threw it to the boy and went to the kitchen. He came back five minutes later with two glasses and a bottle of water which he put on the nightstand. Sebastian was already laying in the bed with his eyes closed. Jace laid next to him and they quickly did as per usual, Sebastian hugged Jace from behind in a protective manner and they fall asleep. 

* * *

 

When the first rays of sunshine entered the room, both boys woke up. Jace was now face to face with Sebastian, and the elder still had his arms around him. They looked at each other for a long time, Jace was admiring Sebastian’s green eyes. 

“Hey” he slowly murmured.

The other didn’t answered anything, he only frowned. His throat was dry and his head ached. It reminded him the ones he used to have when he was partying in college. Jace sat on the bed and grabbed a glass in which he poured water, under Sebastian’s bemused eyes.  He gave it to the sleepy boy and watched him drink. Judging by Sebastian’s face, he was uncomfortable, probably because now that he was sober, he remembered his behavior from the previous night.

“Thanks” he murmured.

Jace smiled at him tenderly before taking the glass from his hands and putting it away.

“What did you want to talk about?”

The taller one glanced nervously at the room for a few minutes, before looking back at Jace.

“About Simon?” he asked uncertainly. 

“As I told you yesterday, nothing happened between us, no need to be jealous.”

“I’m not.” he protested. 

“Okay, well then, don’t act in a possessive manner.”

“What the-”

“Then why are you asking as many questions?” he cut him with a shrug.

“It’s not for me…” he defended himself while playing with his hands. “It’s more for Raphael.”

Jace rolled his eyes, he knew Sebastian was only trying to avoid a conversation. 

“How so? Did he talk to you about that?” he inquired.

Sebastian felt bad for betraying Raphael like that, but it was his only option.

“He wanted to ask Simon out. But you ruined everything.”

“Wowowo!” Jace protested with frowned eyebrows. “I did this for Simon. Raphael treated him like shit!”

“Ah! Now you’re confessing! You’re confessing that you’re dating Simon!” he yelled, unable to stay calm.

“What the hell? It was a ploy! I wanted to make him react but you’re the one losing his temper!”

“I’m perfectly calm!” 

“Then explain to me why you’re raising your voice!”

“I’m not!” he growled.

Jace rolled his eyes again, he didn’t understood what was bothering Sebastian. Suddenly he seemed to realised.

“You’re jealous” he stated.

As Sebastian wasn’t answering, the blond-haired guy understood he was right. He tried to met his friend’s eyes, but he was avoiding it.

“Are you jealous of me?”

“What?” Sebastian exclaimed. 

“You like Simon.” Jace answered incredulous.

“What did you smoke to say as many bullshit?” he exploded.

“Tell me what’s wrong, damn it!” Jace yelled angrily.

“Nothing!” growled the taller one. “It’s just Simon!”

“Could you be a little more explicit?” he mocked. 

“He’s pissing me off!” he confessed. “Always between us, monopolizing your attention. Being glued to you even if he’s interested in someone else.”

“It was to make Raphael react! For god’s sake! I’ve been telling you this for hours. Are you even listening to me when I’m talking?”

Sebastian who was starting to have enough of this little argument, stood up and went to the closet. He was searching for his clothes and was ready to leave when he found a trouser but was interrupted by Jace. He turned toward him angrily.

“What is it now?” he asked with disdain. 

“What is wrong with you? You’re constantly on edge. Always freaking out when I’m with Simon. Why are you alway between us, trying to pull us apart?”

Sebastian glare at him, a hint of disbelief in his eyes. 

“You’re blind” he blurted out before getting out of Jace’s hold.

He stormed off the bedroom and went to the bathroom. Jace stood frozen on the spot. He just had realised the truth. If Sebastian was acting like this, it was because he was jealous, but not of him, of Simon. He left the bedroom and went after Sebastian. He knocked on the door of the bathroom, but Sebastian didn’t answer. Jace slowly pressed the handle, but it was locked.

“Sebastian?” He called. “Can I come in?”

Once again, the taller one didn’t answered. Jace sighed before sitting in front of the door, if Sebastian wanted to act like a kid and ignore him, he could do the same. He waited about twenty minutes on the same spot, focusing on the sound of the water flowing behind him. When he heard the water stopped, he tried to guess Sebastian’s movements by the sound he was making, he wasn’t really good at it, as when Sebastian opened the door, only dressed in his underwear, Jace fell backwards. Sebastian smirked a little before putting his blank face again. 

“What are you doing on the floor?” 

“I was waiting for you” growled the blond haired guy.

Sebastian threw him the ‘are you kidding me?’ glance before stepping over him. Jace stood up and went after him to his room. The taller one had already put his underwear and was searching in the closet for his clothes (which he always pretended to forget here, when in reality he was doing this on purpose).

“Didn’t I leave a jean last time?” he asked.

Jace didn’t answer anything, Sebastian had been ignoring him for thirty minutes, was he really hoping that Jace would talk to him now? The taller one turned around, his eyebrows raised.

“What?” asked the blond-haired guy.

“I asked you a question.” Sebastian deadpanned.  

“It’s funny, I’ve been doing this for a long time, but you’ve been ignoring me” Jace answered with a smirk.

Sebastian closed the door of the closet and came near the blond guy. Jace slowly took a few steps back until he was trapped between Sebastian and the wall. He felt his heart pounding madly in his chest. Sebastian placed his hands on either side of Jace’s head before bending toward him.

“I repeat my question” he started in a domineering tone. “Did I left my jean the last time I was here?”

Jace looked at him for a long time before bursting into laughter. 

“Stop it” Sebastian pouted. “You’ve ruined the scene.”

“You were ridiculous. Seriously, you looked like you were going to kill me for a piece of clothe. Find a better thing to argue over, next time. I don’t know how you succeeded in staying this serious. You weren't credible

Sebastian rolled his eyes. As Jace couldn’t stop laughing at him, he grabbed him by the waist and threw him on the bed. Jace who hadn’t see that coming, and didn’t like being dominated, come down on him and they started the most ridiculous ‘fight’ of their life. Finally, they ended up on the floor, Sebastian straddling Jace, holding the boy’s wrist on the top of his head and smiling at him mischievously. 

“You’re not really intimidating in your underwear.”

Sebastian tilted his head sideways.

“I can be” he murmured while bending toward him, dangerously near Jace’s lips.

“Yeah?” he asked perplexed. “Show me.”

Sebastian slowly bite his lips, he was thinking. Distracted, he slightly lost his grip on Jace’s wrist, who took advantage of that to reverse their positions. 

“I’m waiting” he murmured against his hear.

Sebastian slowly grabbed the bottom of the blond-haired guy’s tank top and pushed it upwards. Jace who was willing to help (no, he wasn’t withdrawing) raised his arms and got rid of his top, to Sebastian greatest pleasure, as he could finally admire the boy’s torso. He threw him a small smile and sent the tank top flying in the room, before flipping Jace over, reversing their position once again.

“My back hurt” Jace winned. 

This time, Sebastian firmly grabbed the boy’s wrist from one hand and caressed Jace’s torso with the other, leaving goosebump on its way. When he arrived at Jace’s sweatpant, he felt Jace contracted his muscles and slightly lifting his pelvis. Sebastian laughed at that, he was happy to see the effect he had on him.

“Succumbing to temptation?” 

“In your dreams!” Jace spat while trying to get free of the boy’s hold.

Sebastian smirked and slowly leaned toward him. He slightly bite on the boy’s neck and, when he heard the boy’s moans, he slowly rubbed against him. The silence which followed his move was so heavy that Sebastian decided to leave and apologize. Yet, when he started to move, Jace closed his legs around the boy’s waist. Sebastian stared at him, but what he saw made him shivered. The blond-haired guy was blushing, he had dilated pupils and his mouth was slightly opened as he was panting. Sebastian stroked his cheek tenderly before kissing him shily. Jace immediately responded to the kiss, once again trying to escape Sebastian’s hold on his wrists, for new reasons. He needed to touch his partner. 

“Sebastian”, he murmured weary.  

The boy pretended not to hear him and started leaving marks on his neck, marks which contrasted with the pale color of his skin. Quickly, he cede to Jace’s pleadings and lost his hold on his wrists. Jace didn’t hesitate one second before putting his hands in Sebastian’s hair. He slowly pulled on the strands and was rewarded by his moans. Jace started undulating his hips against his partner’s, he needed to be touch. Sebastian answered willingly to his partner’s movements before sitting up straight. He looked at his partner with lust and in a swift movement stood up. He extent his hand to Jace who took it willingly and led him to the bed. Then, he pushed Jace on it and straddled him again. The latter questioned him with his eyes, until Sebastian started pulling on his sweatpants to take it off, he wasn’t surprised to see that Jace wasn’t wearing underwear as he was sleeping in his sweatpants. He leaned toward him, stole him a kiss on the mouth before going down to his torso. He spent long minutes kissing and suking at the skin before stopping hinches away from his member. Jace let a long sigh escaping his lips when his partner touch him where he needed him the most. He closed his eyes and threw his head backward. He had difficulties to breath correctly, which seemed to please Sebastian who suddenly stopped moving. Jace opened his eyes dumbstruck. He glared at the boy who was smiling at him tenderly.  

“Did you want something?” he asked in an innocent tone. 

“Stop it” the blond-haired guy grumbled. 

Sebastian started to stood up, but was quickly stopped by Jace.

“Yes?” asked the taller one with a smirk.

“I wasn’t talking about that” he said while pointing between the two of them. “I was talking about your teasing.”

Sebastian raised his eyebrows and took his underwear off before kissing his lover passionately. 

“Turn around” he murmured against his lips.

Jace obey, he positioned himself on his hands and knees, a little anxious by what was coming next. Sebastian, feeling the boy’s fear started dropping small kisses on his back and shoulders, he then put his hand on the boy’s member and stroked it back and forth slowly. His distraction seemed efficient as in only a few minutes Jace was a moaning mess. He finally pushed Sebastian to grab a condom and the lube on his bedside table.

“Foresighted, angel”

He made a sign to the blond guy so that he would take his initial position and started preparing him. Although it was painful at the beginning, Jace quickly lost it and fell in the pleasure limbo. He kept moaning Sebastian’s name to the elder’s greatest happiness. He had difficulties to resist. 

When he felt Jace was ready, he took the condom and put it. After slowly stroking his lover’s back he started penetrating Jace. Jace hide his face in his pillow to mute the groans which were escaping his lips. Sebastian who quickly understood that his partner was hurt, stopped moving and bend to kiss the boy’s skin while stroking his member. After a few minutes, he felt the blond guy relaxed and started moving again. He couldn’t breath anymore, he had waited for this for so long he felt like he was dreaming. He wanted to be rough, yet, he didn’t want to hurt Jace. So, he moved slowly, while throwing his head back, he was in heaven. He put one of his hands in the boy’s hair, the other on his hips. Jace was a mess, moaning and gripping the sheets while undulating his hips to meet his partner’s trust. This sweet torture last a long moment.

Jace couldn’t feel his arms anymore because of their position, so he tried to bend a little more, yet, Sebastian wanted to see more of him, so he slowly pulled out and helped his partner to lay on his back. He grabbed a pillow which he place under Jace’s hips and penetrated him again. Jace who found this position a lot more comfortable, couldn’t help moaning of pleasure. He circled his lover’s torso with his arms and started whispering his name against his neck. Sebastian’s movements quickened, they were rougher and finally he came in a moan comparable to Jace’s ones. He stroked his partner’s member while moving a little slower than before, breathless, he wanted to please his partner as much as he had been. Jace didn’t last very long before reaching his orgasm, moaning Sebastian’s name one last time. The taller one collapsed on top of him and after a passionate kiss, he stood up and threw the condom in the trash.  He came back to his lover’s side and cuddled with him until they both fell asleep peacefully. 


	7. This is a huge misunderstanding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! :) This chapter, contrary to the previous one is focused on Raphael and Simon (but mostly Raphael).  
> I don't like it honestly, but I hope you will appreciate it...  
> I named Raphael's brother 'Diego' because I read [this fic](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8885077/chapters/20367400), intitled 'Where my heart and future lies' written by [scalira](http://archiveofourown.org/users/scalira/pseuds/scalira), in which he had a brother with that name and I found it cute. (Thanks to [Kaaaaarooooo](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Kaaaaarooooo) again for reminding me :D)

Raphael didn’t really know why he was standing in front of Simon’s apartment. One week had passed since the last time they had spoken to each other and he had done as per usual. After work he had walked to his _ ex? _ Apartment. He was on his way out when he heard a door open, he turned and was face to face with Sebastian and Jace. The two boys stared at him, surprised to see him here.

“Sebastian” Raphael greeted him with a nod.

“Raph” the boy said while coming closer to him. “It’s been a while! How are you?”

Raphael shrugged and started a small conversation with him, until Jace joined them. The blond-haired guy seemed uncomfortable -for a change-. Raphael’s eyes landed on his neck and he saw red. Hickeys, dozen of hickeys. The person concerned quickly understood what he was looking at and put his hands on his neck, to hide the marks, embarrassed. Sebastian made a sign toward the door, to lighten the mood. 

“You’re here to see Simon?” he inquired.

Raphael opened his mouth and close it. He didn’t know what to say. He had not been invited and he doubted Simon would like to see him today. Furthermore, to be honest with what he had seen, he was more irritated than anything else. Yet, he nodded so that the boys would leave him alone. Sebastian smiled brightly at him and knocked on the door. Raphael stared at him, were they going to annoy him until he left? 

“Did you already knocked?”

The hispanic shook his head while cracking his knuckles. In barely two minutes, the door opened on a Simon wearing a shirt, probably because of his work. He stared at the three boys, doubtful.

“Yes?” he asked uncertain. 

“We were leaving and we met Raph’ on our way out! He seemed hesitant, so I knocked for him”, Sebastian announced.

It took Raphael all his goodwill not to turn and hit him. Instead he just kept a neutral face.

“You want to come in?” he inquired to all of them. 

Sebastian shook his head and pulled Jace by his arm toward the exit, with a ‘bye Si’. Raphael looked at them, perplexed, before bringing his attention on Simon again. The brown-haired guy tell him to come in a little uncomfortable.

“Am I bothering you?” Raphael asked.

Simon murmured a quick ‘no’ and closed the door behind them. He wasn’t expecting Raphael to come here because of their last conversation. He went to the kitchen and grabbed two glasses.

“Do you want to drink anything?”

“Same as you” the elder answered while looking at the apartment before sitting.

The boy came back with orange juice and sat on the couch, next to Raphael. Both of them wanted to talk, but didn't dare to be the first one to say something. The heavy silence lasted five good minutes and quickly became unbearable.

“I should go” Raphael stated.

“I lied to you” Simon announced at the same time.

Raphael stared at him. Suddenly, he was afraid, about what had he lied to him? Their relationship? Maybe it was about Jace. He had told him he wasn’t sure to date him, but Raphael had seen how they behaved around each other, and the hickeys on Jace’s neck. He probably had changed his mind.

“It’s about Jace” the boy murmured while playing nervously with his hands.

‘Bingo’ Raphael thought. Simon looked at Raphael who nodded to encourage him to continue. The boy didn’t know how to announce something like that.

“We weren’t… We never dated…” he confessed.

The hispanic was confused. Why had he been lying about that? It didn’t make sense, and he had seen them, they were having a symbiotic relationship. No? He thought for a moment before putting two and two together and realising that the hickeys he had seen weren’t Simon’s but Sebastian’s!

“I couldn’t bear your comings and goings anymore.” he confided.

Raphael returned to reality on those words. He felt a wave of anger rising inside him. Simon’s excuse proved one thing, he didn’t trust him. He drank his glass in one go and put it on the table in front of him before looking straight in Simon’s eyes.

“I must confess that you impress me! I didn’t think you were that type of person.” he started in a neutral tone, “a coward who must create a lie to talk. I’m sure it was too difficult for you to tell me that you wanted to stop everything, you needed to create this huge lie, to pretend you had a friend who made you realise you didn’t want a relationship like ours.”

Simon looked at him speechless. It wasn’t what he had wanted to say. Raphael really thought so little of him? He really thought Simon was immature to do something like that? All right, he needed to confess that his and Jace’s little plan was totally immature, but not like that. He quickly stood up when he realised Raphael had gone to the door.

“Raphael!” he exclaimed. “This is a huge misunderstanding!”

“Then explain yourself.”

“It wasn’t what I was trying to say… I wanted to tell you that I was hurt when I said ‘I couldn’t bear’. I was fed up of sleeping with you and seeing you leaving without a word. I thought you were using me. I was only trying to make you react!”

“And to do so, you didn’t find a better way than lying?” asked the boy while raising his eyebrows.

“I didn’t know what to do” Simon panicked. “It was stupid and childish, but I didn’t want to lose you. And I thought you didn’t give a shit about me. I thought that…” he stammered. “I was thinking that you wanted to stop everything. I was afraid to lose you like that…”

“You should have talk to me,” Raphael said coldly.

Simon couldn’t look at Raphael, ashamed. He heard the door open and raised his head, Raphael threw him a last glance.

“I’m disappointed in you.” 

On those words, he slammed the door. Simon felt his eyes watering. He wasn’t proud for lying to Raphael, but he thought that while explaining himself, he would understand him. He had confessed his feeling for God’s sake! It was indirect sure, but he had said “I didn’t want to lose you”, it wasn’t hard to understand. Simon sat on the wooden floor and stared into space, heartbroken. 

* * *

Raphael stopped in front of the building’s door. He didn’t want to get mad at Simon for something that stupide. But he had lose his temper. He didn’t understand why he hadn’t had the courage to talk to him. And the thing which made him feel sick was this sentence ‘I thought you were using me’ who had the effect of a punch. Raphael knew Simon wasn’t feeling good lately, but he never would have imagined how much he had suffered. He felt guilty. He sent a message to Magnus, asking him if he could come to his apartment to talk. He get his answer in two minutes and took the subway to Magnus’ place. When he arrived, he knocked on the door and was greeted by a smiling Magnus.

“Raphael!” he exclaimed while hugging him.

He willingly embraced him back before coming in. Both boys went to the living room, Magnus made cocktails for them and sat on a chair so that they were face to face.

“What brings you here?”

“It’s over… with Simon” the boy answered gloomily.

Magnus seemed surprised and taken aback for a brief moment. He had seen Raphael recently and had advised him to ask Simon on a date, he wasn’t expecting their relationship to end so quickly.

“What happened?” he asked.

Raphael took a deep breath and looked at Magnus heartbroken. 

“Things didn’t work out exactly as planned last week” he confessed. I had noticed he was distant… cold… so, I asked him what was happening and he told me he had found someone.”

Magnus threw him a pitying look.

“He told me that the following day he was going to the cinema with him and one of their friends and asked me if I wanted to join them.”

The asian guy, knowing what Raphael should have felt at that moment, rolled his eyes.

“I accepted and spent the night with him, as per usual. The next day, I met his ‘boyfriend’, and we didn’t see each other for a week…” he paused and took a sip of his drink. “I don’t know why but I went to his apartment today, after work. It was so strange to be there. I felt uncomfortable. Anyway… after awhile he told me he had lied to me. That he never dated Jace and that he had said that because of me. Of my ‘goings and comings’” he said while mimicking quotation marks “and then” he laughed nervously “he told me that he thought I was using him.”

Magnus sighed. He knew Raphael felt guilty because of Simon. It wasn’t necessary to rub it in.  

“What did you do?”

“I left. I told him he should have talked to me.”

“You did the right thing” his friend answer to comfort him.

Raphael shook his head, unconvinced. 

“I’m an asshole.” he murmured “I treated him like shit since the beginning. And the first time he’s being honest with me I don’t even.... I don’t listen to him…”

“Let’s just say that human relations were never your strong suit.” Magnus murmured.

“ _ Gracias. _ ” Raphael sighed.

They heard some noise and looked at the door, only to find it open on a tall guy with dark hair and blue eyes. Raphael knew him but he had forgotten his name.

“Alexander!” Magnus exclaimed while coming closer to him.

He tenderly kissed him before turning toward Raphael. Alec followed his glance and his cheeks turned crimson when he noticed he wasn’t the only guest at Magnus’s place.

“I was leaving” Raphael murmured to reassure him.

He stood up and after saying goodbye to Magnus (who was frowning, to him their conversation had barely begun), he left the apartment. He was surprised Alexander had the keys of the place. Magnus had never given them to anybody, maybe that boy was more than a boy toy and their relationship was serious? Raphael was on his way to his apartment, reluctantly. He didn’t feel like spending his evening alone so he decided to visit his mother, Guadalupe, who he hadn’t seen in a long time.

* * *

When Guadalupe opened the door, she couldn’t hide her joy and took her son in her arms. After a long embrace -they hadn’t seen each other in three months-,she invited him in.

“Diego?” she called. “Look who’s here!”

They didn’t have to wait before hearing some footsteps and seeing a little boy arriving with a huge smile.

“Raphael!” Diego exclaimed while running toward him.

His brother took him in his arms and started playing with the boy’s cheek.

“I missed you!” he murmured to the boy who was pouting because he hated when his big brother was playing with his cheeks. “Is Iván here?”

“He’s in his room” Guadalupe answered with a sight. “He refuses to leave his books.”

Raphael nodded and after putting his baby brother down and dropping a small kiss on his forehead, he passed through to the dining room to enter the kitchen. As he could see lots of food on the countertop, he guessed his mother had been cooking the dinner when he had knocked on the door.

“Can I help?” He offered.

“Only if you stay for dinner.” 

“I should be able to do that” he murmured amused.

Raphael didn't see the time passed, they had cooked cannelloni to Diego’s request. The little boy had spent his time rambling about his day and he hadn't stopped asking for hugs his brother couldn't refuse. When they put the plate in the oven Raphael decided to go check on his other brother and greeted him before returning to his mother’s side who had been left alone by Diego.

“Are you okay?” She asked “you seem to be a little elsewhere.”

“I'm fine” the boy answered with a shrug.

“I'm your mother Raphael. You can tell me what's bothering you…”

“It's just…” he started hesitantly. “It's really stupid.”

“Raphael” she warned.

She used this tone when she expected answers and clear ones.

“I met someone” he blurted out “weeks ago…”

He didn't know how to explain the whole story without telling her the true nature of their relationship. He could never tell her, he was ashamed of it.

“I was at the club with Magnus and I thought this man was Iván…”

“Iván?” She exclaimed.

“Yes I know. It was a foolish thing to think so. But I don't know why I had doubts. We talked a lot and he was really nice, even though he had drunk a lot. When I wanted to leave I knew that he wouldn't be able to go back to his apartment on his own. So I take him to his place, then I left but as I had given him my jacket so that he wouldn't catch a cold I forget it.”

He sent a quick glance to his mother who was looking at him tenderly.

“Anyway, the next morning he gave it back to me, thanks to Magnus who, I still don’t know how had talked to him… we exchanged our numbers and…” he didn't know what to say anymore. “We get to see each other quite often… and… We… we were together without truly being together” he mumbled. 

“How so?” She asked clearly lost.

“Things happened… but I wasn’t really sure of how I felt” he confessed ashamed. “So I told him that, to me it wasn't love. But it didn't really bothered him and we liked each other a lot so… we continued seeing each other knowing we weren't in love” he conclude in a high-pitched voice, afraid of his mother’s reaction. 

“And he asked you to stop?” She asked in a sweet  voice.

“He told me he had met someone else and I met this person” Raphael explained while nervously playing with the sleeves of his shirt. “But today when I saw him he said that he had lied. Because he wanted to make me react and he had been hurt because of me. He thought I was using him…”

His mother took his hands and he raised his head to look at her.

“Did you talk to him about that?”

“I left” Raphael answered truthfully.

He felt so stupid.

“Why?”

“He told me he felt like I was using him.” he repeated with difficulty.

“Exactly! You should have changed his mind. Now, you should go talk to him. If he wanted you to react it means that he wanted you to prove him wrong. And, by the way, I was wondering, what did you feel when you saw him with someone else?” 

“I don't know” he confessed. “It was strange.”

“You were jealous, am I right? You love him don't you?”

“No” Raphael groaned. “It isn't love.”

“If you didn't love him then why are you telling me all of this with your heartbroken face?”

Raphael sighed.

“If I go talk to him know I'm sure he won't listen.”

“Yeah right, and moping around his a better solution. Don’t complain if he start dating someone else for real this time.”

“ _ Mamá _ ”, Raphael protested while rolling his eyes.

“What? I know you and I know you're going to spend the rest of your life regretting not talking to him. You’ll spend awful days asking yourself ‘what if I had done that… will we be together?’ Solve the problem while you still can. You only need to apologize and then talk to him.”

He shrugged and took his phone from his pocket.

“What are you doing?” she asked surprised.

“I’m calling him, to ask him if we can met” he answered with a shrug.

“No way!” she grumbled while taking his phone from his hand. “You agreed to stay for dinner, you’ll met your Romeo after that.”

“His name is Simon.”

“I would like to meet him…”

“What?” Raphael exclaimed. “We aren’t even a couple!”

“Not yet” Guadalupe murmured thoughtful “not yet…”


	8. Take my hand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> To Simon : I need to talk to you. Can we meet?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As per usual I'm late! :D So sorry! Moreover, this chapter is short and I hate it. Anyway, Here it is. I think I'll post the next one next week (but IDK when... it could be on monday or sunday).

Raphael had spent a wonderful evening. It had been a long time since he had come to his mother’s house and he felt guilty about it. He promised his mother to came back at least once a month and to come to Diego’s birthday (which was in two weeks). 

He was on his way home, when he decided to send a message to Simon, it was still early and he didn’t want to go home now.

 To Simon : I need to talk to you. Can we meet?

He was walking peacefully to the subway when he heard his phone vibrating.

 From Simon : Give me ten minutes. I’m on my way to my apartment.

Raphael hesitated a long time, he wanted to send another message to ask him if he was okay, but he didn’t want to be too clingy. Finally, he removed what he had written and changed it before pressing the ‘send’ button and putting his phone in his back pocket. 

  To Simon : Thanks

He tried to remember his mother’s words every time he felt his confidence weaken. She was right, after all. If Simon had planned all of this and told him lies it was to make him react so he wanted something else, something new. He quickly arrived at Simon’s apartment and knocked at the door. No answer. He grabbed his phone and asked him where he was.  

 From Simon : Almost here.

Raphael sighed and put his phone back in his pocket. He really had fucked up this time. There was no way Simon would forgive him. At least, he still had his number. If Raphael was him, he wouldn’t have answer to his messages. He waited another five minutes before going out in the cold street. Where the hell was he? He was worried. Simon had said ‘almost here’ he should have already opened the door. Raphael tried to call him but the boy never picked up, so he decided to start looking for him around the apartment. Then, he heard a noise. He slowly followed its origin and came face to face with two men who were holding someone against the wall. He couldn’t hear much, but quickly understood something was wrong and reacted when he saw one of them punching the man in the face. He approached them with big steps and in a swift movement grabbed one of the attackers by the arm and twisted it. The boy whined, surprised and swore when the hispanic pushed him. Yet, the other man tackled Raphael and started punching him in the ribs. It didn’t stop him as thanks to the adrenaline, he reverse their position, hitting randomly. He had barely punched the boy’s jaw when he was pushed on the ground violently, his head almost hitting the floor in the process. He stood up as quickly as he could but the assailants had run away. Raphael growled at that and turned toward the person who had been attacked. He was sitting against the wall, petrified. At first, because it was dark; he didn’t recognise this person, but as he came closer he remarked it was Simon.

“Simon?”

The brown-haired guy didn’t answer, so Raphael crouch in front of him and took him in his arms, Simon hid his face in the crook of Raphael’s neck and slowly grabbed his t-shirt. 

“I’m bringing you home” the elder murmured in a sweet voice.    
Simon nodded and let Raphael lead him to his apartment. Once the door was closed, he went to his bed, sat and suddenly started crying. Raphael who had followed him came closer and took the boy in his arms, he knew he was in shock and that he couldn’t do anything to help him except waiting.

The hispanic felt guilty for not beating the assaillants who had hurt his Simon harder. Simon slowly broke their embrace and looked for a tissue while Raphael stood up and lit the room. His heart stopped when he glance at the boy. He was so pale, had this huge red bruise just next to his eye which probably wouldn’t leave before a week. Plus, the boy’s lips were bleeding and he was shaking. Raphael felt helpless faced with this situation, he had no idea what to do. Simon turned toward him after a while and murmured a ‘thanks’ barely audible because of his sobs. Raphael sighed slowly and took him in his arms again before stroking the boy’s hair. They stayed like this until Simon’s breath calm down. After that, Raphael helped him to take off his clothes and put his pajama on. He told the boy to lay in his bed and to rest. Simon obeyed and moved a little before lifting the sheets up, silently asking Raphael to lay next to him. The elder nodded and after taking his shoes off, he did as he was asked. Simon didn’t hesitate before nestling against him. He needed Raphael and the latter was here for him. He put his arms around the boy’s waist protectively and dropped a kiss on his forehead before murmuring soothing words in spanish to Simon’s ears.   

* * *

Raphael woke up when he felt Simon jumping. They weren’t in the same position they used to, Simon had his back against the Raphael’s torso. 

“Simon?” he asked.

The boy rubbed his eyes and murmured a ‘sorry’ to which Raphael responded by a small kiss on the cheek.

“How do you feel?” he inquired.

“Better” the boy murmured. “I was…” he took a deep breath “surprised…”

“What did they want?”

“My phone and wallet” he groaned. “I refused so they hit me.”

“I should have broken their legs...” Raphael grumble coldly.

“At least you broke the arm of the one who punch me in the face.”

“I should…”

“Schuh” Simon murmured while grabbing Raphael’s hands in his. “I’m glad you helped. I probably would be… in bad shape if you hadn’t.”

Raphael closed his eyes, if he hadn’t make it on time,what would they have done to Simon? He slowly stroked the boy’s hands while dropping small kisses on his skin.

“You wanted to talk?” Simon asked suddenly.

“It can wait.” Raphael affirmed.

“If you say so…” Simon yawned. 

“You should rest, bebé.”

Simon slowly nodded and closed his eyes. He was safe now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Almost forgot to tell you that there's only one chapter left! In fact I've written something after the last chapter but I'm not satisfied, so IDK if I will post it :/ I'll tell you next week.


	9. You don't have to say, "I love you," to say I love you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What did you want to talk about yesterday?” Simon blurted out while they were enjoying their meal.  
> Raphael seemed unsettled for a moment. He didn’t know what to say. He could have made his speech the evening before, but he didn’t feel like it after the attack, it didn’t seem to be the right time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! The final chapter is here (I'm still late, sorry)! I better stop this fanfiction now, either way I will not know when and how to end it. Maybe I'll write one last chapter but more like a bonus, but I don't want to make false promises so read it as the last one of this fic. I hope you'll like it and won't be too disappointed.

When he woke up; Raphael was surprised to see that Simon wasn’t sleeping by his side. He was alone in the bed and judging by the coldness of the sheets, the boy had been up for a long time. The elder stood up after stretching painfully and went to the kitchen, where he found the one he’s been looking for. The brown-haired guy was making the breakfast. Raphael quickly approached him and put his arms around the boy’s waist.

“Hello” he murmured against the boy’s shoulder. 

“Did you sleep well?” Simon asked.

Raphael nodded and loosened his grip so that Simon could turn and face him, which he did before taking the elder in his arms. Then, after long minutes of silence, Raphael moved back and looked at the boy. His mark had taken a darker color. He sighed and stroked Simon’s cheek tenderly.

“Do you need help with the breakfast?” he questioned to lighten the mood.

“If you want.”

Raphael smiled softly and helped him to make pancakes. 

* * *

“What did you want to talk about yesterday?” Simon blurted out while they were enjoying their meal. 

Raphael seemed unsettled for a moment. He didn’t know what to say. He could have made his speech the evening before, but he didn’t feel like it after the attack, it didn’t seem to be the right time.

“I wanted to apologize for my behavior yesterday” he confessed.

Simon seemed... disappointed? He nodded and focused on his food again. 

“I also... “ he started hesitantly “I wanted to talk about us. About what we used to be before Jace came around…” he said with a frown. 

He shot a quick glance to Simon who nodded to encourage him to continue.

“I wanted to give us a second chance ?” he asked as if he wasn’t sure.

Simon’s face lighted up for a second but he got a grip on himself and replaced his smile by a neutral expression.

“So that you’ll make the same mistakes again? Thanks but no thanks.” the brown-haired guy sighed.

“Simon” Raphael begged. “I feel guilty about it. I should never have treated you like I did. I miss you so fucking much… If you could just give me a second chance, I swear I’ll do everything I can to be the right man for you.”

The moment the words escaped his lips, Raphael felt a chill running down his spine. It was so strange the way simple words could scare him. Simon who must have understood his distress tried to distract him.

“I agree, on one condition” he murmured.

“Which one?”

“You spend all your week-ends with me, which includes sundays!”

Raphael rolled his eyes before murmuring a small “It was planned, idiota”. 

* * *

That’s how both boys started seeing each other again, they didn’t do anything more than kissing because Raphael always stopped Simon when him was trying to initiate more.

They spent every week-ends together at Raphael’s place, because the hispanic felt uncomfortable when he was at Simon’s apartment. At the beginning, his boyfriend  had been hurt by his request to stop meeting at his apartment but at Raphael’s instead. However, he quickly understood the benefits of it. The more important one being, that he could spend all his week-end at his boyfriend’s place without seeing him leaving before sunday evening. Raphael on the other hand was trying to do everything he could to make him feel how much he loved him, even though neither of them had already said the famous words ‘I love you’. The hispanic even told his mother about Simon when he went to her house for Diego’s birthday. She reprimanded him for not inviting his boyfriend over, but Raphael had argued that it was to recent and that he was afraid Simon would get uncomfortable. After all, he hadn’t met the boy’s mother yet and Simon never mentioned this so he guessed that it mustn’t be too important for him.

Came a day while he was discussing with Simon in his living room that someone knocked on his door. Raphael stood up and opened it, surprised by this unexpected visitor who turned out to be his mother. She was carrying Raphael’s younger brother, Diego in her arms. 

“ _ ¿ _ _ Mamá _ ?”

“ _ ¡ _ _ Hola!”  _ she exclaimed while kissing her boy’s cheeks. “I’m so terribly sorry to barge in, but I have an emergency at work and I can’t take Diego with me. Normally I would have called you brother, but he’s at his girlfriend’s place to meet her parents. So, I was wondering if you could take care of him.” 

Raphael nodded and his mother entered the apartment. Simon stood up from the couch and approached her, a little uncomfortable to meet her like that. But, Guadalupe immediately smiled at him, which gave him a little more confidence.

“Hi” Simon murmured with a smile which looked like a grimace.

“Simon?” she asked.

The brown-haired guy sent a questioning look at Raphael who nodded in Guadalupe’s direction.

“Don’t make that face” she laughed. “I guessed because Raphael talks a lot about you!”

“ _ Mamá”  _ groaned the person concerned.

Guadalupe rolled her eyes and quickly embrace Simon after putting her child down. Then she kissed both Diego and Raphael on the forehead.

“Be good with your brother! I’ll come back for you in three hours max.” she announced before shutting the door. 

Simon and Raphael looked at each other, uncomfortable. Finally, Diego came near to his brother and put his tiny arms around the boy’s leg, he was hiding from Simon. Simon smiled nervously, he wasn’t used to be with kids and he didn’t know how to act around them. And this particular kid scared him the most because he was Raphael’s brother and he wanted to make a good impression. The hispanic took Diego’s hand in his so that the boy would stop hugging his leg.

“Diego, this is Simon. Simon, Diego, my little brother.”

“Hey!” the brown-haired guy said with a smiled he hoped would look natural -the truth is… it didn’t.

The little boy wasn’t moving, he was looking at Simon with his mouth slightly open. After a while, he pointed at the boy’s t-shirt. Simon looked at it, he was wearing a top on which we could see Batman and Robin and the words “I HATE MY ROOMMATE” on it.

“You know Batman and Robin?” he asked.

Diego nodded with a small smile, whereas Raphael who sighed at the mention of these two characters. Simon had tried to give him comics and make him watch some movies, but Raphael didn’t like them.

“Do you wanna watch cartoons?” he offered.

Diego nodded again and shyly walked to Simon. He extended his hand to the boy who took it carefully in his own. Only then, he realised he hadn’t asked Raphael, so he looked at the boy who smiled brightly at him. Simon took that as an answer and guided the boy to the couch before gently taking him in his arms to help him to sit. After that, he grabbed the remote and selected the ‘teens titans’ to the little boy’s request. Raphael quickly joined them and put his arm around his boyfriend’s shoulders. They spent a long time sitting there, watching the tv until Diego confessed he was hungry. Raphael left them in order to cook them dinner.The rest of the evening went by quickly, they enjoyed their meal while talking about superheroes before going back to the couch where Diego fell asleep, on Simon’s knees who was sleeping against Raphael’s torso. 

Raphael opened the door as quietly as he could when he heard Guadalupe knocking on it. She didn’t get the chance to say anything before Raphael shush her. He led her to their living room and both of them looked tenderly at the boys asleep on the couch. Simon had one hand protectively put on Diego’s back. Raphael’s mother who had a bright smile on her face grabbed her phone from her pocket and took a picture of the scene which she sent to Raphael’s. Then she gently stroked Diego’s cheek to wake him up. The boy refused to leave at the beginning, so Simon offered him to came back another day to Raphael’s delight and the brown-haired guy had to carried his boyfriend’s brother to the door because he didn’t want to let him go. Finally, Guadalupe took her child in her arms and after thanking Simon and Raphael she left as quickly as she had come.

Simon closed the door, a little sad to find the apartment silent again. He came to Raphael’s side and his boyfriend kissed him tenderly before hugging him tightly, he was so happy to see that Simon and Diego get along.  

“When is he coming back?” Simon suddenly asked, desperate. 

“Am I supposed to get jealous?” Raphael murmured with a smile.

“It’s just that he’s adorable.” Simon answered enthusiastically. “Have you seen his chubby cheeks? I could play with them for hours! And the way his eyes shine when he talks about superheroes is just so cuuuute! Besides, he knows Marvel better than you!”

“When are you planning to get married?” he grumbled. “Anyway, I’m going to sleep.”

“Raphaeeeel...” Simon begged. “Come back sweetheart!” 

The boy faint disdain and went to their room.

“For you information” he started with a raised eyebrow, you aren’t welcome in my bedroom anymore.”

Simon rolled his eyes and approached him. Raphael who knew troubles were coming tried to run to the room but Simon quickly catched him making both of them fall on the floor. Raphael let a weird cry escaping his lips before laughing.

**Author's Note:**

> Translation:  
> Idiota - Idiot  
> Mamá - Mama  
> Pedazo de mierda - piece of shit  
> No me lo puedo creer - I can't believe it  
> Estoy avergonzado de ti, Ivan - I am ashamed of you  
> (huge thanks to CrazyFireLove for correcting me :D)
> 
> If you found mistakes please tell me :)


End file.
